Now remember when you're 'ackin round a gilded Burma god ..........That 'is eyes is very often precious stones;    -- Kipling, Loot Raid on the Sher-Li Temple or: The Fort of Jewel-Eye

David would have it known that the puns in the title are at Ron Strickland's instigation and Alan's insistence, and do not reflect David's sophisticated sense of humor in the least. No, not the least little bit. No.

This game was conceived when Brandi Weed sent the Major-General some bronzed animal figures, including an attractive but somewhat large, baby elephant. What to do with it?

The concept was expanded when the eGroups ColonialWars discussion list veered into an exceedingly silly discussion ofWee Willie Winkie, a film which still gets to David and which involved the kidnapping of Priscilla (Shirley Temple) by a Pathan chief.

Then David got the itch to build a Chinese junk and to use up those pirates from the Pressman Pirate Battle Game.

The game was played when Alan and Charles, the 'lost boys' of the Ouargistan group, were both in town over the 2000 July Fourth holiday. Colonial Carol, Alan's former wife and David's current romantic interest, was also in town, fresh from her recent triumph as one of the sisters in the Austin Gilbert and Sullivan Society's HMS Pinafore, so the part of Sister Clarissa was added for her. Since the whole group was to be reunited, David and Alan pulled out all the stops in creating the tabletop and props. Members of the ColonialWars discussion group generously contributed Pressman plastic pirates when David ran out. Steve took the game photos.

At the mouth of the Tinkiwinkidipsilalapo river lies an ancient temple with a large elephant idol of wicker and wood sheathed in thin copper, whose enormous ruby eyes have gazed over the coastal savannah for hundreds of years. The region has stabilized under British occupation, and since the colonial Governor built a small fort near the temple site, the natives' confidence has been restored sufficiently that they have brought the giant rubies out of hiding and replaced them in the elephant's eyes. The low palisaded installation manned by a small garrison of Punjabi sepoys under British command is known in the native language as Tanxtu Bran-di, which translates (wait for it...) "The Fort of Jewel Eye."

Near the temple is the mission station of Sister Clarissa, "the six-gun nun" from Arizona, a former sharpshooter for Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show who found her calling and now operates a school for the native children. Sister Clarissa is an American national heroine. For the last month, Priscilla, the daughter of the British Governor has been staying at the mission school while her father has been on a diplomatic journey to Inakan.

Lately, the junks of the Skumzzolean pirates have been making raids along the coast. The pirates are now using modern weaponry in addition to their usual flintlocks. No-one knows who is supplying these weapons, but the guns have names like Mauser, Mannlicher and Krupp.

The tabletop is 4 x 6.5 feet (1.2 x 2 meters). There are four large hills and numerous minor hills. The river runs along the north side. The sea is along the eastern and part of the southern end. Mountains lie along the western edge. There is a native village near the center, a small town with a harbor to the south, and a bay for the pirate junks in the east. A road runs from north to south. Numerous forests and groves restrict visibility.  Click on various sections of the picture for closeup views.

The British Governor - The gunboat HMS Gadfly is anchored in the river, having brought the Governor to pick up Priscilla. It contains a unit of imperial troops, a half-unit of Royal Marines, and one small field gun. The Governor is making his way through the hills to the mission station with the unit of imperials. The marines remain aboard the gunboat. The protection of Priscilla and the Governor are the primary objectives, with the protection of the idol, an important secondary objective.

The Americans - The Fuzwah of Dobro is the legitimate authority in this area as recognized by the US government, and he has sold the elephant idol to President Roosevelt for use at the Republican Party convention. The Americans have a unit of armed sailors, a unit of native auxiliaries, and six marines, plus a work crew with a motor truck to take the idol back to the port where the the warship USS San Juan Hill is docked. For some reason the British commander of the fort cannot understand all this. In addition, Sister Clarissa, an American national heroine, must be protected from any harm or the Hearst papers will have a field day denouncing the administration.

Sister Clarissa - God has called Sister Clarissa to build this mission station, and she will not abandon it to evildoers. Neither will she turn Priscilla over to anyone but the British authorities unless it is the only hope for the child's preservation. Her primary goal is the protection of Priscilla, the other children, the native civilians and the mission. She would never desecrate the native's temple, but would not mind if someone else took or damaged the idol, which she sees as a stumbling block in her flock's spiritual path. When the junks are sighted, a few locals show up with rifles to help protect the mission school.

The Skumzzolean Pirates - The Germans will pay a huge sum for the great rubies from the elephant's eyes, so that the Kaiserin may display them at dinner parties. These sour Europeans have provided much marvelous weaponry so that the fearsome crews of Hoo Flung Dung and Junk Sank Sosumi may steal these gems. In addition, the pirates have learned that the daughter of the British Governor is at the mission school. She would bring a great ransom if she could be captured. If all else fails, loot from the mission, capture of a few natives for the slave trade or some livestock would at least allow the expedition to cover its expenses.

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